It was self-defense! It tried to eat my head. Again.

[ He’s well aware of the ridiculousness of that statement and his cheeky grin says that’s probably on purpose, even as he pushes to his feet to come up behind her.

He could easily reach for the hat, of course, but instead, he leaves it precisely where it is and scoops her carefully up into his arms instead, turning to carry her away from their now very fancy statue. He heads for the bench swing they have set up under the arbor, sinking down onto it with her on his lap instead. ]

There, much better. Now we’re both out of the sun and can’t be threatened by demon hats any longer.

[ Even though he’s now eyeing hers with speculation, as if considering giving it the same fate as his. ]