Mm. [just thinking about it still makes him feel sick. truthfully, Olivine would rather run from it, pretend that nothing ever happened and just... move on. but maybe it feels wrong to just back out after saying so much, after they've shared a... really concerning amount, actually, after such a short time. and in half-public space.] The bar has never moved, I don't think. They... my parents simply have very strict expectations, and I was...
[maybe it's the drink, too. things he doesn't want to say, thick and bitter and hateful against the sweet, calm cool of the wine. it feels as if... maybe, if he says them aloud to someone other than himself, they'll stop tearing into him. he's already disappointed them so many times...]
"A desecration of the holy priesthood." [the words are so familiar that he no longer needs to see them to remember. to go back to that...] ... the church's doctrines are extremely strict, after all. But... I can't just stop being who I am. I never wanted to be constrained to a single temple, only able to help those closest to me.
I'm... lucky. I had friends to help me realise I didn't have to be that way. It hasn't made the memories fade, but carrying them is a little easier.
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timeasmymeasure
excuse me while I just go throw Olivine's parents into the sea tbh
Date: 2023-12-24 07:13 am (UTC)Mm. [just thinking about it still makes him feel sick. truthfully, Olivine would rather run from it, pretend that nothing ever happened and just... move on. but maybe it feels wrong to just back out after saying so much, after they've shared a... really concerning amount, actually, after such a short time. and in half-public space.] The bar has never moved, I don't think. They... my parents simply have very strict expectations, and I was...
[maybe it's the drink, too. things he doesn't want to say, thick and bitter and hateful against the sweet, calm cool of the wine. it feels as if... maybe, if he says them aloud to someone other than himself, they'll stop tearing into him. he's already disappointed them so many times...]
"A desecration of the holy priesthood." [the words are so familiar that he no longer needs to see them to remember. to go back to that...] ... the church's doctrines are extremely strict, after all. But... I can't just stop being who I am. I never wanted to be constrained to a single temple, only able to help those closest to me.
I'm... lucky. I had friends to help me realise I didn't have to be that way. It hasn't made the memories fade, but carrying them is a little easier.