It does, in the moment. But that struggle is gone, the moment I do know what I know here.
[ Which, in his mind, makes it a moot issue. But he slides his hand along Basch's shoulder, comforting and soothing. ]
I'm afraid your roguish self got what feels like a much younger and more naive version of me, than the one you're used to. At the very least, a much more stubborn version who's not so quick to trust or open up. So I'm sorry for the challenging predicament that's putting you in, but I have no regrets about the end results.
[ He can practically feel the heat that flushes through Basch, can feel the slight tension in him at that confession. He can guess at the shame and uncertainty there. It's what has his hands coming back up to cup at either side of his face, holding his gaze seriously. ]
Love, all of this is just more proof of how much you deserve me. [ Or better than him, really, but that's not going to get his point across here. ] From the very start, you've seen me. Seen past the bluffs, the masks. You truly wanted to see me. You... you have no idea how novel that is for me. Even in the illusion, you were not put off by my anger, by my prickly defense. If you had truly crossed any lines there, the scenario would have activated my safe word - that it did not should reassure you enough about how I felt about all of it.
Surrender... is not something I give easily. Or to just about anyone. You're one of the very few people, in all my life, that it always feels safe to do so with. [ A pause, before he shoots him a crooked grin. ] Even when I can't remember how much I love you, and let fear and my instinctive defenses try to keep you out.
no subject
[ Which, in his mind, makes it a moot issue. But he slides his hand along Basch's shoulder, comforting and soothing. ]
I'm afraid your roguish self got what feels like a much younger and more naive version of me, than the one you're used to. At the very least, a much more stubborn version who's not so quick to trust or open up. So I'm sorry for the challenging predicament that's putting you in, but I have no regrets about the end results.
[ He can practically feel the heat that flushes through Basch, can feel the slight tension in him at that confession. He can guess at the shame and uncertainty there. It's what has his hands coming back up to cup at either side of his face, holding his gaze seriously. ]
Love, all of this is just more proof of how much you deserve me. [ Or better than him, really, but that's not going to get his point across here. ] From the very start, you've seen me. Seen past the bluffs, the masks. You truly wanted to see me. You... you have no idea how novel that is for me. Even in the illusion, you were not put off by my anger, by my prickly defense. If you had truly crossed any lines there, the scenario would have activated my safe word - that it did not should reassure you enough about how I felt about all of it.
Surrender... is not something I give easily. Or to just about anyone. You're one of the very few people, in all my life, that it always feels safe to do so with. [ A pause, before he shoots him a crooked grin. ] Even when I can't remember how much I love you, and let fear and my instinctive defenses try to keep you out.